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Poker Jokes Two couples were playing cards. John accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Bill's wife wasn't wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, John hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced. Later, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bill's wife followed him and asked, "Did you see anything that you liked under there?" John admitted that, well, yes, he did. She said, "You can have it, but it will cost you $100." After a minute or two, John indicates that he is interested. She tells him that since Bill works Friday afternoons and John doesn't, John should come to her house around 2:00 pm on Friday. Friday came and John went to her house at 2:00 pm. After paying her $100 they went to the bedroom, had sex and then John left. Bill came home about 6:00 pm. He asked his wife, "Did John come by this afternoon?" Reluctantly, she replied, "Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes." Next Bill asked, "Did John give you $100?" She thinks, "Oh hell, he knows!" Finally she says, "Well, yes... he did give me $100." "Good," Bill says. "John came by the office this morning and borrowed $100 from me. He said that he would stop by our house on his way home and pay me back." Poker Player and His Wife. A regular Friday night poker game was still going strong well after midnight when one of the players returned from bathroom with an urgent report. "Roger, listen," he told the host, "Walter's in the kitchen making love to your wife!" "OK, that's it, guys," Roger said. "This is positively the last deal." Poker Tattoo. 10 Signs You Are Obsessed With Online Gambling 1. You go to a hockey game and wonder what happened to the dealers and boxman. 2. When an ambulance passes with flashing lights, you assume someone hit a "hand pay." 3. When your kid says math "came easy" today, you ask if it was a 4,6,8 or 10. 4. You go into a shoe store and ask if they have 4, 6, or 8 deck. 5. When your English professor says the author made his point; you ask if he pressed or not. 6. You hear the bible story where Lazarus is told to "Come out", and you ask for a 2-way C & E. 7. You show up early at the bakery to take advantage of the hot rolls. 8. You wonder if a salad shooter is really a gambling device. 9. When the bartender asks if you want a "double", you say not against an ace. 10. You go into a 7-11 and ask to play the "don't." Are You Gay?
One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing
in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil... Satan:
"Why so glum?" Guy: "Why do you think? I'm in hell!" Satan:
"Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You
a drinking man?" Guy: "Sure, I love to drink." Satan: "Well
you're going to love Mondays then. On Mondays that's all we do
is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet tab and
fresca. And we don't worry about getting a hangover, because
you're dead anyway." Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!" Satan: "You
a smoker?" Guy: "You better believe it!" Satan: "All right!
You're going to love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all
over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer - no
biggie, you're already dead, remember?" Guy: "Wow, that's
awesome!" Satan: "I bet you like to gamble." Guy: "Why yes, as a
matter of fact I do." Satan: "'Cause Wednesdays you can gamble
all you want. Craps, Blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots,
whatever. If you go bankrupt... you're dead anyhow." Guy: "WOW!
I never realized Hell was such a cool place!" Satan: "You gay?"
Guy: "Hell, no!" Satan: "Hm, you gonna hate Fridays then." Bill
Gates gets a Poker Lesson.
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